An Idiot’s Guide To Social Media Marketing

There are a lot of things in this world that are said to be certain/bound to happen :



Student loans.

Another one of those horrendous, impending disasters in the name of a movie franchise – Transformers.

Donald Trump being openly-racist and obnoxious on national television at 3 in the morning.

Improper use of “your” and “you’re” by online pundits.

A random…power-hungry corporate entity, with the intention of promoting itself, chiming in on a sensitive hashtag discussion, drawing the ire of the residents of twittersphere.

Ever since its inception, despite its unattractiveness, lack of appeal, and polarizing reception, social media’s had high hopes for itself…

i.e to become a virtually-unstoppable force (accidental pun), promising to usher in an overwhelmingly-futuristic era.

But, as we all know, since humans have never been associated with the term “fickle-minded“, millennials, and geriatrics across the globe collectively refused to use technology, stating that they’re not going to be a part of the end of civilization, would never give in to the dark side of this confusing sorcery, further adding that they’re content with their mundane routine of walking in the woods, reading books, playing outside, and talking face to face with ACTUAL people.

Anyway, unless you’re Captain Fantastic, you’d know by now that social media’s taken control over humanity, and it is here to stay.


Let’s face it. Google Plus is like the first racial slur your grandpa drops

at thanksgiving dinner, that nobody else in your family wants to be associated with.

Google induced a strong, negative, and hostile reaction at the time of its launch for

trying to have users sign in to Google Plus in order to use Gmail, and leave comments

on Youtube.

This backlash was completely understandable, because people hate being told

what to do, and  even more when you make a ludicrous thing obligatory.

Eventually, Google tried to turn things around by rolling out significant changes

to make it a little less annoying, but people still view it as another

social-networking clone.

Having said that, you should know we’re talking about Google here,

the behemoth of search engines. And, do not let those early setbacks

distract you from the fact that Google has changed the entire landscape of SEO.

In the reconstructed words of a publicity expert,

“If you ignore Google+, Google WILL ignore you. Literally.”

And that, is good enough to make companies reconsider the way they see Google+.

All you need to do is set up your profile, and add Google Plus to

your website so that Google can start indexing your pages to make

your company relevant in its search engine rankings.


Operated by an infamous corporate mogul who recently turned bald, and evil by

trying to get rid of one reclusive news reporter from Kansas, who occasionally

saves the earth, but currently is on hiatus.

Without being affected by its glorious failure to acquire Snapchat back in 2013,

Facebook has amassed a staggering amount of 1.87 billion active users, got

rewarded for being an extremely-versatile platform with an unassailable lead over

Twitter, making it the powerhouse of social networks.

It provides a wide range of advertising options, helps businesses target their

audience based upondemographics,location, behaviors,interests, and


Furthermore, its analytics tool enables users to keep track of their progress quite

easily with metrics such as likes, reach, and engagement.

It can play a vital role in laying the foundation for developing a solid advertising strategy for businesses everywhere.


It’s experienced nothing short of a meteoric rise to become one of the most

popular social-networking platforms.

It has a plethora of advertising tools such as Twitter Amplify, Promoted tweets,

Promoted Trends, Promoted Accounts, Promoted Video, and Mobile app


The more you maintain a consistent online presence by posting engrossing and

appealing content that your audience can connect with, the better

your chances are at gaining retweets , and a huge following .

Also, when customers voice their concerns, you have the opportunity to either

tell them off and see your business go down the pan,

or  help them out, and establish a cordial relationship.

Twitter can easily remain an indispensable marketing cornerstone for any

kind of business organization.


LinkedIn is, without a shadow of a doubt, one of the most boring things

known to man. There’s pretty much nothing going on in there.

But when it comes to business, that is not the case. It’s a pretty big deal.

In fact, it’s got an estimated 250 million monthly visitors.

For B2B product launches, it is the #1 social media platform.

It helps you find professionals in your own functional area of

expertise. And that allows you to promote yourself, and your

business in a very effective way.

It is imperative that B2B marketers utilize the features that grant them a great deal of leeway to establish important connections, and explore various lucrative business ventures.


As you can see, it is Tumblr without an ‘e’.

It’s been ten years, they haven’t noticed yet, and probably never will.

Despite being known for the gross misspelling of the name of the company itself,

and lack of common understanding of spell-check, and the non-existent budget on

proofreaders  spent every year, Tumblr without an e, is a highly-popular

microblogging website.

It’s got over half a million monthly visitors, and hosts over 340 million blogs.

It provides the option to customize blog themes, and various content formats,

enables other users to view your content on their dashboard feed.

If you have what it takes to post visually-engaging content, you

might as well end up garnering a myriad of likes, and reblogs.


Registration cost, level of difficulty, and other perks:

It requires 10X the amount of effort, and money went into the entirety

of the Suicide Squad script- absolutely nothing.

They’re free, and fairly easy to use.

Not only are they the most effective channels businesses can rely on to enhance brand awareness, loyalty, and revenue, but also the much-needed tools to improve customer service to build a steady reputation.

I can’t emphasize that enough.

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